OTAY [July 16, 2007 | 12:37 AM] OTAY , SO TODAY I BOUGHT SHOES WHATEVER, AND WENT TO ITALIAN CONDOS AND ATE RAVIOLI THAT DIDNT COME FROM A CAN AND REAL ITALIAN PIZZA. I ALSO WENT TO JOE'S THE OTHER DAY AND ATE EVERYTHING. IM SO FAT IM TALKING ABOUT FOOD. OVER ALL I HAD FUN WITH ANN AND GIN&TONIC. LIFE IS GREAT LIFE IS DUMB.

I hate it, I HATE IT! [July 10, 2007 | 01:31 AM] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | muahahahahahahaha </3 ] I can't stand myself. I hate my life. I hate them. I love him. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? : ( UGGGGGGGGH STUPID GAY MOFUCKNG asjhfsdgker. nooo!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT OKAY.

SCHEDULE I HOPE...! [July 05, 2007 | 10:48 PM] [ mood | ecstatic ] July 06 OR 07- Is Guitar Shopping UGH I HOPE...and FOR SHORTS DAMMIT. July 08 IS WHAT? THE REST OF THE WEEK IS HELL. JULY 14th IS KILL MYSELF DAY AND JOEY'S BRUNCH DAY meaning we crash his place. JULY 15th IS ITALIAN POOL PARTY! HAYYYYYYYYYY! :)

Dear Life, [July 02, 2007 | 12:35 AM] [ mood | Hurt. Real Bad. ] [ music | Death Cab For Cutie CD ] Today was nothing special. Canada Day 'tay. But nothing more. Today Andy and I stuffed our faces at the party, eating ice cream and BBQ. Holy shit I felt like a whale. Wait I am but whatever. Today I kept hallucinating, it was horrid. Sudden Flashbacks made me flinch from the sudden pain i felt, which I really couldn't describe. I felt so Adrenalinic, I couldn't tell wether...I was over excited, furious or afraid. All I know was that I was suddenly spazzing like a mental person. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save me from myself, before I hurt me. I wish I could just get him out of my mind, but it's as if he'll permanently be there. FOREVER. And I could and would never get over him. But we're different. For some reasons I felt that I had conditions...we were just so not alike. It would have never worked out anyway. Though I broke up with him, I feel like he's the one who hurt me. But I hurt him first. LIFE IS SO DEMANDING, SO OVER RATED. IT'S so complicated. I D K what to say. But I'm waiting for someone to save me...and I just hope it's him. PATHETIC because this life ain't a fairy tale.

SUMMER PLAYLIST, [July 01, 2007 | 12:39 PM] [ music | ALL OF THE BELOW. ] Tegan & Sara- I know I know I know Pretty Girls Make Graves- The Number Death From Above 1979- Romantic Rights Robots In Disguise- DJ's Got A Gun Cansei De Ser Sexy- Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above Blood Brothers- Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck Regina Spektor- Ghost Of Corporate Future Metric- Handshakes Family Force 5- Luv Addict The Number 12 Looks Like You- If These Bullets Could Talk The Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Art Star Bloc Party- Banquet You Say Party! We Say Die! - Monster The Grates- Science Is Golden Be Your Own Pet- Wild Cat! Model Photographer- Cassette Tape The Dandy Warhols- Grunge Betty The Like-  June Gloom Meg&Dia- Cardigan Weather Neon Blonde- Headlines Feist- 1234 Eisley- Telescope Eyes The Ramones- Hey Ho! IDK :) MUSIC IS MY BOYFRIEND.

A Letter From The Ex-Girlfriend. [July 01, 2007 | 01:02 AM] [ music | Teitur- One And Only ] Dear Past, I've never given much thought of how much I would miss you until you were truly, really gone. I have realized your worth day by day.  Small things like the scent of your skin every Monday morning would break me. I had remembered every detail valuable or not. I'd remember the way the hairs from the back of your neck would stand up whenever I kissed you.  Or simply the way you played with my hair.  How you held my hand tightly but gently, to warm them inside your pocket. The way you would hug me for what seemed like forever when you could finally see me at the end of the day. How your thumb would circle around the palms of my hands to relax me. The way you read outloud whenever you write. The way you looked at me and spoke to me, as if choosing your words carefully. The way you slouch, which truly shows how imperfect you are, which just makes you even more perfect to me.  I can't understand why I simply just can't get over you, as if you are permanently a part of me. And I can't change that. I regret ever saying those words to you. Even though now it's too late and I can't go back.  I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. So I end this letter to mark a new beginning. I hope you never ever forget me, after all I was your first. Love, Catherine

[June 30, 2007 | 12:20 AM]

I know I know I know [June 30, 2007 | 12:01 AM] [ mood | content ] [ music | TEGAN & SARA ] from hundreds of miles yeah, you cry like a baby you plead with me, shout, scream, tell me I'm staying I know I know I know, I'm still your love back from the last place that I wanted to fake you laugh with me, shout, scream now tell me you're staying I know I know I know, you're still my love the same as I love you, you'll always love me too this love isn't good unless it's me and you box after box and you're still by my side the weather is changing and breaking my stride I know I know I know, it's just this day house after house, just like car after car you see club after club and it all seems so far I know I know I know what else are we here for the same as I love you, you'll always love me too this love isn't good unless it's me and you stick your hands inside of my pockets keep them warm while I'm still here tell them this love hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me at all last night I was writing about you I know my screaming and shouting won't keep you I know I know I know, you're still my love I wake up to the sound of you working you're one room right over, stressing and loving me I know I know I know, be still my love the same as I love you, you'll always love me too this love isn't good unless it's me and you stick your hands inside of my pockets keep them warm while I'm still here tell them this love hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me at all stick your heart inside of my chest keep it warm here while we rest tell them this love hasn't changed me, hasn't changed me at all the same as I love you, you'll always love me too this love isn't good unless it's me and you the same as I love you, you'll always love me too this love isn't good unless it's me and you

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